Two months after a major breakup, I was feeling reckless in a foreign city. A few Tinder swipes later, I was knocking back cheap beer and pizza with a cute guy, and all of a sudden it was hot breath and fumbling hands in his dark, tiny bedroom. It was my first spontaneous hookup, and it felt both thrilling and alien. But when he tried to penetrate me, I froze. “It’s not working,” he said, confused. I didn’t know how to tell him. We tried a couple more positions before we stopped because of what I’d known all along – I physically couldn’t do it.